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Best Golf Jokes (One-Liners) 1.</h1> <span class="pages__DownloadBtn-sc-6wjysl-1 hCfioa">Short bad jokes. What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear. Feb 12, 2018 · Dirty One Liner Jokes. Jan 25, 2024 · Find funny puns, corny one-liners and bad-but-good jokes that even Dad would approve of. So he pushes himself off the stool and drags himself out of the bar on Old Age Jokes. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip. Mar 1, 2024 · Welcome to our grand slam collection of 114 Short Baseball Jokes, guaranteed to be a hit with fans of all ages! If you thrive on the crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, and especially the humor that threads through the stitches of this beloved sport, then you’re in the right ballpark. And with such a massive collection of puns, there’s no shortage of Apr 5, 2024 · Best One-Liner Dad Jokes. Two whales walk into a bar. "I hate those people who knock on your door and say you need to get 'saved' or you'll 'burn. It was a shitzu. Jan 18, 2022 · However, there are enough dirty dad jokes out there for those interested in them. A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. You may also use 段子 (duànzi), which is a more colloquial expression for jokes in Chinese, especially those in bad taste. The word for “joke” in Mandarin Chinese is 笑话 (xiàohua). Person 2: How?! Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven. I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. " 9. From puns to one-liners, short jokes are perfect for sharing with friends or breaking the ice at social gatherings. When suddenly, the bartender announces last call. The first whale says really loud and long whale noise. 1. Knock Knock Jokes. But we all know how these situations tend to go—if Jun 2, 2023 · 2. I would tell you my autumn joke but you probably wouldn't fall for it. • What do cows say when they hear a bad joke? “I am not amoosed. Aug 10, 2023 · Here are 100 of our favorites, guaranteed to make you laugh, even if the rational part of your brain wants to resist. I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face. There’s something satisfying about a joke that’s so bad, it’s good. ” 2. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. The bartender asks them what they want. —–. share. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. All it was doing was collecting dust! Velcro. Halloween jokes guaranteed to have kids and adults cackling with delight. By Carrie Weisman. 50. We’ve compiled a ton of jokes and puns so horrible and lame they’ll have dad, mom Sep 13, 2023 · 101 Memory Jokes. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 2. 5. I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Mar 13, 2024 · It Depends. She hugged me. Find funny puns, corny one-liners and bad Bacon and eggs walk into a restaurant. • Why did the golfer wear two pairs Feb 3, 2022 · A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. In this inspired list, you'll find short jokes, silly anecdotes and a whole lot of punny gags — and all of 'em are knee-slappers. via: Pexels / Tima Miroshnichenko. Woman calls the police: “Is it the police I'm with. Don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses on the way out 60. A man is sitting at the bar, getting really drunk. The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news. I was at the funeral of a friend of mine. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said nothing. The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. A one-liner is well and fine if you need a quick joke to brighten up the mood. An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Saimonas Lukošius and. "My in-laws are mimes. Get everyone giggling with these short jokes for kids and adults. In the fast-paced world of technology, computers and memories are integral components that intertwine humorously to create an array of memory-related jokes. 26. I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora The Hall of Shame: Most Horrible Jokes. A man and his family are staying at a hotel. Nov 22, 2023 · View in gallery. The person on the other end of the joke could see the punchline coming from a mile away. Jan 16, 2017 · Funny Dad Jokes. 32. “We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. " The cabbie dutifully drives him to the 'burbs and points out a town house. Answer: Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Whether you’re a dad trying to score some laughs Aug 16, 2023 · 3. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn Apr 22, 2024 · One-Liner Dad Jokes. Short jokes have a universal appeal, transcending language and cultural barriers to bring people together through laughter. Feb 9, 2024 · We've got the funniest corny jokes on the Internet. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. Say what you will about pedophiles. 15. Feb 16, 2024 · 71. Best Golf Jokes (One-Liners) 1. I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah. Jan 25, 2024 · Get everyone giggling with these short jokes for kids and adults. If these bad Dad jokes matched your sense of humor and you want more terrible jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes pages, including these: Anti Jokes. Kids Jokes. This joke may contain profanity. Baby Jokes. YoloStock/Shutterstock. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. The Best Knock-Knock Jokes the Internet Has to Offer. One liner tags: animal, health, rude. 8. Yo Mama so small she has to slam-dunk her bus fare. There are intellectual jokes. 7. Apr 22, 2024 · 8. These jokes play on the quirks of human memory and the technical aspects of computer memory, resulting in a delightful How to Tell a Joke in Chinese. Yup, a dad joke is loosely defined as a groaner so corny that you basically need to own a pair of white New Balance sneakers, a cell phone belt clip, and a coffee mug emblazoned with the phrase "World's Best Father" to actually find it funny. Sep 28, 2022 · 74 Funny Story Jokes That Earn Their Laughs. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong. Early in his career as a freelance writer, he ghostwrote jokes for a book author who would tell them on her promotional book tours. I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, “I’ve been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?”. Feb 16, 2016 · It had to wait its churn. Warning – these jokes are funny because they are just oh so bad! Air used to be free at the gas station. That’s odd. Jul 31, 2023 · These are the best jokes for kids in 2023 — and, with a list of more than 200, you'll probably be able to find one that'll meet them where they're at. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Hi hungry, I’m dad! Jun 9, 2021 · Hopefully you’re entertained and always have a good joke for your golfing buddies. 10. Pull out these PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh. No, it’s just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck. The man realizes he's really, really drunk, and he needs to get home. You could read it as “seriously” or as “a joke didn’t walk into the Jan 6, 2023 · Father's Day jokes to show you inherited Dad's funny bone. On the opposite end of the spectrum, corny dad jokes are less about humour and more about repetition. When that feeling starts, try to take a deep breath and relax. 31. This is for those who like to fly under the radar. It might take some work to move stuff around to fit that fun side of yourself in, but don't worry! Everything's possible. Read up on our old age jokes and “getting old” jokes to live forever. Neilas Šurkus. There are dad jokes. Jan 9, 2024 · Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. Tim Moodie is a proud Dad. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. The shooting star pauses briefly, then turns around. When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble. “Golf is an easy game… it’s just hard to play. I’m not sure any teacher has a favorite snake, but …. " Apr 29, 2021 · An airline company lost a man’s luggage, so he decided to sue them. The man smiles smugly, “No, I have 4 kids. Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment. One liner tags: autumn, communication, puns. The clairvoyant, “That’s what you think. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Yo mama weighs so much that when she jumps to a conclusion, she gets out of breath. They’ve been treating me like one of Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming. So, without any more delay, fasten your seatbelts and secure your funny bones because we’re entering the world of stupid dad jokes. A winds turbine asks another wind turbine: “Are you into music?”. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! The waiter asked if I wanted a box for my leftovers, but I told him I’m not into fighting. I failed math so many times at school Jan 16, 2024 · 41. Dec 3, 2021 · If you are looking for the very best dark jokes to tell your friends, we’ve got you covered. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a May 11, 2022 · Father's Day jokes that'll prove you inherited Dad's funny bone. In fact, like any self-respecting dad joke, it'll become a-parent pretty quickly, that you've landed on the best collection of short-but-funny jokes out there. Sep 22, 2023 · What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. By Laughlore Team Updated on September 13, 2023. "OK, look, here's how it's going to go. She has a lifetime ban from the zoo too. “You can’t cut me down,” the Feb 12, 2023 · Yo mama’s so fat that her hips are no longer in the same time zone. 28. 63 Apr 4, 2024 · A rainbow. Linas Simonaitis, Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė and. 24, 2024 Jan 7, 2022 · All bottled up. As the famed conductor and pianist Victor Borge once said, "Laughter is the closest distance between two people. Now he'll expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air. " The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed. Extra Extra. Ah, spring. If you're new to making jokes in front of an audience, you may feel tense and pressured. " "They're going to name a disease after you. Who can drink 20 liters of gas and not get sick? Jerry can. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. These bite-sized punchlines pack a powerful comedic punch, delivering clever humor in just a few words. Enjoy the best stupid, cheesy and corny jokes to actually make your friends and family laugh, whether you're a kid or an adult. " 10 Apr 22, 2024 · Mon, April 22, 2024, 4:02 PM EDT · 16 min read. I know because they told me. That means I talk down to A man's car gets haunted by a ghost. “Oh, how nice! I can make a wish! I want a woman who knows what she wants!”. Dad jokes, knock-knocks and corny one-liners galore. One Friday, two women were sitting and talking. These are the unfunny instalments that don’t really garner a great response, cultivated over years of practice and delivered with unassuming ease. Apr 13, 2023 · 103 Funny Jokes So Silly They're Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day. Our wedding was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers. I had to put my foot down. What did the parents say to their kids when they went to the beach for spring break? "Long time, no sea!" What did the baker’s son do over spring break? He loafed around. Doing the business in elevators is great on so many levels. Fruit flies like a banana. Buff Strickland. Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler. Explanation: “No joke” has a double meaning here. Sep 19, 2013 · 28. • Why do French people eat snails? They don’t like fast food. She rolled her eyes and said, “Here comes the a**hole with flowers in his hand. ” On Sunday, the girl heads to the confessional booth. If people from Portugal are called Portuguese, how do you call a single person from Portugal? Portugoose. A time for planting flowers, planning picnics, and soaking up the sunshine we've been denied all winter. Aug 2, 2023 · 12. Riddle: You are in a dark room with a box Jan 2, 2024 · When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach. " Dan said, "Give me the good news. Jan 19, 2022 · Short jokes, bad jokes, and even corny jokes play on words, puns, one-liners, and situations to be funny. Jan 6, 2023 · 101 short jokes for kids and adults that are actually funny Keep a stash of these silly dad jokes, one-liners and corny puns in your back pocket. Tim is a Copywriter and Creative Director. Step into the laughter lounge with a collection of short jokes for adults! These fast, funny, and sophisticated one-liners will serve as your quick escape from everyday monotony, promising a hearty laugh in no time. And don't be shy; even if you don't like (lies) filthy adult jokes, you must admit that May 31, 2023 · READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Sep 2, 2022 · 40 Adult Jokes That Are Twisted, Morbid, And Funny. And, there's always the occasional knock-knock joke to toss out. My aunt has the heart of a lion. Sarah is a lifestyle and entertainment reporter for TODAY Apr 15, 2024 · Best Corny Dad Jokes. 6, 2023, 8:58 PM UTC / Updated Jan. Pet News. Why wouldn’t Greg Abbott and Joe Biden are having a meeting when suddenly a genie appears. 27. Jul 1, 2023 · Check out 101 funny quotes, dad jokes, fun facts, bad jokes, and trivia for kids! Trending Stories. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly? Stationary. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid. Riddle: Name three consecutive days without naming any of the seven days of the week. " Apr 28, 2022 · Throw in your dirty laundry. A bad joke, however, can make you laugh even harder, might test your wit on May 20, 2021 · Answer: The letter W! 8. Time flies like an arrow. Mar 25, 2023 · Now we didn’t say these jokes were good (in fact they’re kind of bad), just that were short. The coach went to the bank to get his quarterback. Laughter bonds us and reinforces our relationships. Feb 16, 2024 · The Baa-hamas. People say I'm condescending. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs. Years ago, I threw away a boomerang really hard. 30. Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė. Then it dawned on me. A bad joke, however, can make you laugh even harder, might test your wit on Jun 5, 2021 · My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. April 13, 2023. Yo mama so fat, that when her right hip talks to her left hip, it’s considered a long-distance call. Getty Apr 25, 2023 · So, sit back, have fun, and toss caution to the wind as you enjoy these bad dad jokes. Jul 3, 2023 · It’s impossible to put down! Corny Jokes. The drunk staggers up to the front door, bangs on it, and screams "I wanna get screwed!" A female voice answers, "Slip $100 under the door. Jan 23, 2024 · Fortunately for you, we've got an endless supply of bad jokes, funny one-liners, corny puns, knock-knocks and a whole lot more gags to keep the giggles coming. A dirty joke told by 85yo grandpa to the whole family by memory. Enough with the child-appropriate humor! It's time for some dirt and filth that we all secretly crave—dirty dad jokes, X-rated jokes, and corny jokes for adults that would not be so school-appropriate. " "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. That would be a big step forward. '. Bored Panda community voted for and picked the very best ones. Saulė Tolstych. " Ba-dum-tss! Thank you, thank you very much. 14. I keep hitting “Accept All Cookies” but, so far, NOTHING. 3. Joke Of The Day. You don't need a parachute to go skydiving — you need a parachute to go skydiving twice. “An American went to Scotland and played golf with a newly acquainted Scottish golfer. Having at Jan 25, 2024 · To ensure that your supply of one-liners never goes dry, we've collected the very best of the best corny jokes and funny puns to help keep you, your friends, kids, adults and everyone else in stitches. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will Jul 11, 2023 · One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air. 4. One woman looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with a bunch of flowers in his hand. These quick and witty jokes are easy to memorize and share. Husband: "Well, good luck with that - because the floor is lava!" A clairvoyant to a man, “I can see you are the father of 3 kids. Getting old doesn’t have to be sad. How does the ocean say hi? Nov 5, 2021 · 27. 67. " 61. I lost my mood ring the other day and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Yo Mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says, "Don't spit, I can't swim. They do unspeakable things whenever they visit. You will be mist. Find funny puns, corny one-liners and bad-but-good jokes that even Dad would approve of. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed. I’ve lived in constant fear since. He says to the man "That'll be $250. Finally, here’s some hilarious one liner dirty jokes for those who like it quick! The difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah” is about three inches. Father’s Day Jokes. Seven has “even” in it. Apr 5, 2024 · 87 Spring Jokes That'll Brighten Anyone's Day. Money jokes just make cents. 13. Jan 16, 2024 · The taste. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an a**hole. Guilty pleasure dark jokes. What did the dog say once he got on spring break? "The paw-ty is officially here!" Where did the shark go for summer vacation? Apr 5, 2024 · Best One-Liner Dad Jokes. ADVERTISEMENT. 73. -. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they Feb 23, 2024 · Stock up on these dad jokes, corny puns and funny knock-knock jokes to use the next time you need a good laugh. Laughing can make you live longer. " If you've ever shared a joke with a close friend, you know that's true. His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval. Jun 8, 2022 · 140 Cringe Jokes That’ll Crack You Up. You’re on the 173 Bad Dad May 30, 2016 · 52 Two-Liners That Can Be Considered As Best Jokes Ever. But therein lies the appeal. A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. How do bees get to school? A school buzz. 45 % / 1663 votes. “It’s really dark in here,” the girl says. IE 11 is not supported. May 19, 2023 · That’s where our collection of 105+ Bad Puns comes in. Take a breath and relax. 126. Most of his one-liners are more witticisms like “Trees branch out” than they are actual jokes. Corny Jokes. Never trust stairs— they’re always up to something. A good joke can make you laugh, of course, it can also test your smarts, and it can even make you reminisce about some of the best times of your life. Halloween Jokes. One Liner Jokes Nov 17, 2023 · If you’re looking for adult or naughty jokes, you’ll definitely want to check out our best dirty jokes and funny jokes . Oct 17, 2020 · From puns to one-liners, these jokes offer a clever and witty take on the world of engineering. #1. How do you know when you’re going to drown in milk? When it’s past your eyes. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. I can only grant three wishes, so one of you will get two and the other will only get one. Linas Simonaitis and. All math teachers have problems! 7. He charged one and let the other one off. 42. By Tim Moodie. 9. Well, dads aren’t the only ones capable of telling stinkers, though. RELATED: 55 of the Best Yo Mama Jokes of All Time. Too bad he lost his case. Celebrate the warmer weather with some flowery gags and one-liners. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. To make the people you want to laugh naturally, you should also laugh with them. Yet, sometimes, the need arises for something longer, more along the lines of a funny story. Sometimes life is too fast-paced, but you must make space for the fun. So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed. 62. Mar 1, 2023 · With an itheberg. Stupid firemen. Mar 25, 2021 · 40 One-Liner Jokes That'll Crack Up Your Friends. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent! A jumper Jan 12, 2024 · Canva/Parade. Feb 1, 2024 · Butane is a lighter fluid. Knock knock. So whether you’re an engineer looking to share a laugh with your colleagues or simply someone who Sep 6, 2022 · Lastly, share this article with your friends and anyone to whom these jokes might be of concern. 72. 287. The turbine responds with: “I’m a huge metal fan. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy. Its days are numbered. These puns are not for the faint of heart – they’re groan-worthy, eye-roll-inducing, and downright cheesy. RIP, boiling water. 20 Knock Knock Jokes For Kids. A man sees a shooting star. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Laughter really is the best medicine. Now it’s $1. So sit back, relax, and let the jesting begin! I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. Riccardo Falconi Report. . I said, “I don’t know, it could be miles away by now. "I'm afraid for the calendar. The only thing that could make these activities any better is keeping everyone laughing throughout. Yo Mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school. " #joke #short #doctor. These corny jokes are just for your enjoyment. 🤔. What did the apple say to the vibrator? Jun 8, 2022 · 140 Cringe Jokes That’ll Crack You Up. We promise you, we're not trying to sell you seeds. If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower. I am over 18. Jun 2, 2023 · I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. Best Jokes. The second whale says, “Shut up. 250 Dad jokes that are so bad, they're actually hilarious. Dark Jokes. She asked, “Whereabouts is it?”. Dec 24, 2022 · “It’s almost as bad as ‘stealing’. 6. Mar 21, 2024 · 109 Actually Funny Clean Jokes for Any Situation. I’ll let you know what comes first. You’ll confess on Sunday when we go to church. After a bad tee shot, he played a “Mulligan” which was an extremely good one. And since you're already men of power and means, you have to choose wishes that will serve your constituents. I sold my vacuum the other day. 94. Jan. Feb 24, 2022 · 40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time. Funny jokes come in all shapes and sizes. Whether they like jokes about their Feb 26, 2017 · Funny bad jokes. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is the best medicine. 44 % / 1801 votes. You know why dad jokes are so popular? Because they’re terrible… but you can’t help but laugh at them. What do you call a 1 legged hippo? A hoppo. You’re drunk. What’s a chick’s favorite food? Egg-plant. Make fun of those grey hairs with Sep 28, 2021 · 145+ Bad Jokes And Puns So Cringeworthy They're Actually Really, Really Good. A drunk falls into a cab, gives the cabbie a $20 bill and bellows "I wanna get screwed. Enjoy the following knock-knock jokes. ”. Good and Bad News. Police officer: “If you are with the police why would you call here?”. There's never a bad time for a good joke, which makes having a supply of corny one Jun 18, 2023 · June 18, 2023 by PunHQ. I woke up exhausted. ” *** More Funny (and Short) Dirty Jokes. " "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. The short, clean jokes below are for adults, but most are kid-friendly so they’re perfect for throwing in cards or peppering into your Instagram Jun 16, 2023 · Funny One-Liners. Inga Korolkovaite and. 29. The priest responds, “oooh… don’t get this started again. No joke. Hence, we’re confident that the first ten entries on this list can be dubbed the top 10 dark humor jokes on the internet. Thanksgiving jokes to give kids and adults pumpkin to laugh Sep 18, 2023 · They're funny because they're so desperately uncool that you're not even sure whether to laugh or grimace. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Yo mama so fat, the tub overflows even when there’s no water. At least they drive slowly through school zones. I asked my dog what's two minus two. Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them. The first thing Santa's elves learn in school is their elf-abet. When he tries to get off the bar stool, he realizes that he's so wasted, he can't even feel his legs. If you break down the word into characters, 笑 (xiào) stands for “laugh”, and 话 (huà) means “talk”. The host says, "We don't serve breakfast here. Don't worry, we're sticking to the family-friendly stuff today so you can share quips with all kinds of company. What a rip-off. However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is May 25, 2021 · Go to the moo-vies. 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